Next tattoo

 It's 3:43 in the morning and I've been awake for about the past hour thinking about my next tattoo. I'm supposed to have a consultation tomorrow to talk about it with an artist. I guess that's why I can't sleep. I'm still trying to decide if it's the artist I want to go with, for sure what tattoo I want to get next, and if I should wait until after the holidays and after our next trip. My husband is very supportive so he said I could get it now if I want to. Tattoos are always so healing for me.

I'm looking to get a tattoo of three butterflies to represent the three pregnancies I've lost. I want them to look like 3D like they're sitting on my skin. I'm thinking I'll get one purple, one light blue, and one lime green. The guy I'm going to see tomorrow is one of the cheaper ones in town, but his work looks nice. So I'm leaning towards going with him.

I was originally going to get the butterflies on my foot. I think they'd be cute there and symbolic because what happened was painful and the foot is said to be very painful. However, now I'm thinking if I get it on my foot I'll see it more than I'd like to. I don't really wear sandals. Only really when I dress up and when I'm at the beach, but I'd see them every time getting in and out of the shower too. And I'm nervous about how they'd heal in my shoe. Will it get infected? Will it hurt to the point where I want him to stop?

So I'm thinking I'll get them on top but towards the back of my shoulder, under the mountains on my neck, or the back side of my arm I can't really see unless I twist it. I thought about getting it on the inside of my ankle or my calf too but I think I'd see those too much as well. I overthink everything. So I'm thinking if I get it on top towards the back of my shoulder what will I wear while getting it. A bathing suit top then pull my arm out. However, then I'd have to cover up my stomach with a shirt in order to feel somewhat comfortable. And how would it heal with my bra strap right on top of it. I think it'll be cute so I'd like someone to be able to see it, just not all the time myself. I'm afraid every time I look at it it'll bring back the pain of losing the pregnancies rather I'm already thinking about them or not. 

I'm also hesitant to get them right now too because it's right before Christmas and we have a trip planned at the end of March. Wondering if I should wait until after then, but tattoos are so healing for me. I'm wondering if getting it now would be best.

I also want a tattoo of two dolphins swimming side by side. One big, one small to represent my son and I. I kind of want to get that one first, but I'm thinking the butterflies will help me heal so maybe that's the one I get next. Plus then I could see if I like the artist before getting the dolphins. I think the Dolphins might be harder, possibly cost more, and they'd be on my arm in a spot where I'd see them a lot so I'd want them to look really good and realistic.