Monday, November 1, 2021

Off on Halloween

 Today I woke up at 3:08 a.m. I slept about six and a half hours probably. My stomach hurts a little bit and I have a little bit of a headache, other than that I feel okay. I don't feel rested, but I also don't feel super tired. I already started cleaning the kitchen and I started the dishwasher. Usually when I'm up at this hour I'm writing, thinking, or playing games on my phone.  While I think it's perfectly fine,  having the energy or motivation to clean is out of the norm for me. 

Yesterday was Halloween. I was extremely tired after getting 8 hours of sleep the night before. At church I kept closing my eyes. Also during football I kept putting my head down. Even when looking at the screen, I probably only saw a handful of plays. It was hard for me to pay attention. My mind must have been somewhere else.

Around 4:45 I took my son and niece to trunk or treat at the church. Since it was so cold outside, the event took place inside. There were a lot of people in a small space and I kept having to herd two kids around to the right place. I felt very overwhelmed. When I first got there I told the kids to sit in their seat and not move while I went and got them ice cream bars.  I had went to get them chips,  but there was someone in the way talking.  I didn't have the patience to wait so I grabbed the ice cream bars instead. It was like I had to do that to keep my mind straight.

When we got back to my brother's house to go trick or treating I wanted to go right away. I felt like I needed to keep going. I started feeling off so I started trying to figure out how to work through it. I took a little walk with my husband. I thought maybe I couldn't stop moving or something. We were literally only gone like 2 or 3 minutes. When I got back to the house I figured I'd go to the bathroom thinking maybe that was it. That didn't help either so I tried sitting down. I put my head down and closed my eyes. I couldn't figure out what I needed to do to get past the off feeling. I still don't know what feeling off is. This time it started out with feeling overwhelmed. So maybe it is anxiety or at least triggered by anxiety. I hadn't felt off for at least a few days. Walking around with the kids trick-or-treating I felt alright. When we finally got home, I was super tired again and fell asleep around 8:30/9. The world series was on.  It was possibly the final game and I still couldn't stay awake/ didn't have the desire to watch it. Other than to go upstairs,  I didn't wake up at all.  Therefore,  I probably slept 6 straight hours. 

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