Up for the 2nd night in a row

 Once again I'm up early. This time it was 3:11 I woke up. I washed my tattoo, said hi to my husband and tried to go back to sleep. However I just laid there for about an hour until I decided might as well just get up. I remember I had a provider once who said you shouldn't just lay there longer than 20-30 minutes without falling asleep because then you train your body into thinking it's OK to be awake in bed.  Therefore after about 20-30 minutes you should get up and do something. Then when you feel ready lay back down to try to sleep again.  

I think it's a good thing that I am yawning and feel tired still. If I was wide awake and felt like I didn't need sleep that would be more concerning. However it is the second night in a row of less than ideal sleep. I need to keep an eye on this. Last time I only slept for five or six hours a night for an extended period of time I was hypomanic. While in my opinion being hypomanic is a good place to be I just have to be really careful I monitor it so it doesn't turn into full-blown Mania. Hopefully I don't have to worry about any of that and this is just a fluke or a new normal I don't have to worry about.  While I slept less than 6 hours I haven't slept 12 hours either so there is positive there. Also 5 hours is better than 2 hours or nothing at all.  It seems usually between 6 and 10 hours is ideal for me.

Figuring out the ideal amount of time for me to sleep has been a work-in-progress anyway. I tend to feel the best when I sleep about 6 hours. However when that happened consistently I was hypomanic. So should I just live in that state cuz that's where I should be and I feel the best? Or is that a danger zone because it's the stepping stone for Mania? Do I push for more sleep than that so I'm "even" or "normal"? Or is 6 hours really ideal for me and the hypomanic state I was in was not due in part to sleep? Truth is I don't know the answer and don't know if I ever will.  With any luck I'll figure it out sooner than later. It seems if I'm not up in the middle of the night like this,  I sleep way too much.  I have trouble getting up,  don't want to get up,  still feel tired and try to take naps any chance I get or even create time for. Please someone tell me there's a happy medium. 

Just doing more research I found that cherry blossoms symbolize a time of renewal and the fleeting nature of life.  In addition there beauty peaks around two weeks which is about how long I was in the hospital.  There are flowers in my tattoo I didn't know were cherry blossoms until I asked the artist.  Feels like another God sighting.  I feel stable so is it OK to believe that? These are the things I struggle with.