Recovering back home

     After being discharged from the hospital I flew with my mom back home to get help with my son

while I continued to get better.  During that time I thought I knew everything.  Everything I said was

right.  I would curse at my mom.  That time period was the first time I had ever cursed at my mom.  I 

tried to convert my mom to Catholicism because I thought it contained all the truth.  I had her read the

book Rome Sweet Home because I just knew she'd see the light.  

    I thought everything was either of God or of the devil.  I had a necklace (I believe it was a rosary) I 

wore.  If I had a thought or something would happen I would look down at it.  If it was face up it was 

good, it was of God.  If it was face down it was of the devil.  I thought bees were a sign of the devil. 

    I couldn't concentrate enough to drive so I had my mom drive me around.  I would have her drive me

to various stores.  At least one per day where I would always buy something.  Luckily I didn't empty my

bank account like many other people who have bipolar disorder do, but I would go shopping and buy

things everyday whether I needed them or not.

    I would also have her take me to any and every Catholic church I could find.  I was seeking answers

to know what was going on with me.  I needed the truth.  Of course no one helped me.  One priest told

me believing you're God is the #1 sin.  I walked out, that was the last thing I needed to hear.  I visited

another priest who I believe told me to sit in front of the Eucharist and pray some our fathers.  Again

not very helpful.

    While back home in Colorado I attended a Partial Hospitalization Program.  I was there Monday

through Friday for several hours per day.  There I learned how to better take care of myself, coping

mechanisms, and how to get along in society if I remember correctly.  It went pretty well, but I forced

myself out early.  I believe I stayed four weeks.  It was supposed to be six weeks.  I felt I needed to get

back home to Hawaii and be with my husband.  At this point I was probably still a little manic, but I

could function and take care of my kid.